Home » Blog » The Pros and Cons of Virtual Dating
That’s how a recent ad from OkCupid attempts to normalize the new realities of dating in the era of COVID-19. And they’re not the only dating app retooling its message and product for life in a pandemic. Hinge, for instance, released a new ‘Date from Home’ feature to help users smoothly transition from text conversations to video or phone chat.
It was inevitable. Just because we’re forced to reduce our social interactions to avoid getting sick doesn’t mean our longing for love and companionship stops. Some single people might be fine with putting their dating lives on hold until it’s safer to go out into the world, but others may just find it too lonely. For them, a new alternative has emerged: virtual dating.
People in long-distance relationships are probably already familiar with what virtual dating entails: lots of video calls, sexting, and finding inventive ways to keep things interesting. Some couples video chat while cooking or watching a movie, while others take a more X-rated approach to their virtual dates. There are always kinks to iron out, but for a lot of people, it works.
Getting to know someone remotely before committing to meet in person can have its benefits. You skip over the awkwardness of deciding who foots the bill or that dreaded moment when you don’t know if it’s ok to lean over for a kiss. The lack of physical intimacy also forces you to build an intellectual connection first, which can be a great way to figure out if you’re actually compatible for the long haul.
But there are downsides to virtual dating as well. That hit of oxytocin we get from a hug or a kiss is out of reach, and eventually, we may find ourselves dissatisfied in the relationship. Some people may overcompensate for that by turning their virtual dates into a peep show - akin to what cam performers do - but that can veer into dangerous territory real fast. You risk making the person on the other end of the screen feel like just an object for your sexual pleasure rather than your significant other.
There’s no replacement for intimacy, we know. When your goal is to build a well-rounded relationship, sex will almost always be part of the equation and times like these call for creative measures. But if all you want is to get your rocks off, you don’t need a partner for that. Plenty of adult entertainment websites will give you “the girlfriend experience”... for a fee, of course.
Virtual dating can be a minefield for sure, but it can also be a great way to stay connected to each other and the outside world at this time of isolation. It’s important to keep an open mind and understand that it’s not always going to work out. But, just like traditional dating, all you have to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. And look on the bright side: a bad virtual date will never end up with you crying in the back of a taxi.